There's nothing better than spending a lovely Spring day walking through a park, a grassy knoll, some sort of cliche outdoorsy area where couples are embracing, gay men are bantering, homeless people are listening to 1980's boombox's and aggressively demanding your money. Yes, there is nearly nothing that could ruin such a perfect sunny Spring day; except people who feed birds.
I really hate people who feed birds. Inevitably, these people are socially awkward, transient,
dirty-yet-not-homeless, and possibly Asian or Eastern European. While everyone else enjoys the clean air and an opportunity to lounge about, these jerkwads throw bread and birdseed by thehandful, attracting flying rodents. Yes, that's right, they're not feeding wild parrots or toucans. At best these disease ridden poop projectors are seagulls, at worst pigeons who probably started the black plague and will likely start bird AIDS outbreak. Want to tell these people to stop? I don't think so. People who feed birds barely know what decade it is. You can tell by their odd attire and omnipresent look of confusion.
Even homeless people hate people who feed birds, because most layman's believe people who feed birds ARE homeless people. Common mistake. The look of giving up on life is equally present in both, however a homeless person would never given an animal his or her food, easy give away.
Feeding birds always leads too obnoxious toddlers with terrible parents who let their kids run through a pack of 400 pigeons inevitably causing a mass of birds flying overhead and shitting out whatever two-year-old bread they were fed.
For all these reasons, I really hate people who feed birds.
